The problem with being a creative.
Soundtrack -Her: comfortable with you.
The audacity of Rest
The problem with being creative is that it’s like wanting to blow bubbles but being afraid to breathe out. But any artist worth their salt knows that to create you must release. There has to be a bit of vulnerability in letting the world see you, see your truth, in essence, your soul. Then why is it that for so many, myself included, a sense of dreaded duality; where to focus on self and release all that vulnerability out is deemed unthinkable. That lingering nagging voice of doubt. That .. anxiety, that fear, what gave birth to that?
The volleyball of thought To be afforded the luxury of rest…..Living is hard. It is exhausting. As a female-identifying mammal Classified inhabiting this third rock from the sun, who has been classified by my country of Birth as African American at the age of 35, working in the service of a corporation in the telecommunications field, I am tired. I am weary and I know there has to be more to this existence than running on a wheel for things that don’t matter for people who barely recognize I matter for dollars to maintain this vessel that feels like she has been at war since birth.
If I was a rich ( because classism must be acknowledged) white woman, I would have been sent somewhere in the hills to get rejuvenation treatments. Why is the true experience of humanity something so out of reach for so many? Or at worst the desire for it is something framed as being lazy or wonton; how dare you wish to just exist. How dare to attempt to turn off your fight or flight mood. No, your natural rhythm is that of anxiety and list and making sure others are In the best state of being. You are not a people.
Fuck that. I do not have a dream job, I don't desire the world to know my name, I simply wish to exist to breathe in this body for the duration of my time on this rock. And why is that seen as the dreamers’ dream, of something so far-fetched? How dare I want more.
The ability to live your life on your own terms. It's so simple and yet such a forgone concept.
This photo is a lie, this is war paint.
